illustration by Laurie Lail
By Laurie Lail
Sondra sat at the bar in her
running clothes, waiting on her to-go order when her mother texted:
He’s taking me to a fundraiser
He’s taking me to a fundraiser
where there’s a band so maybe
dancing. Blue pumps for looks
or black flats for comfort?
Sondra texted:
Go with flats
Her mother had always told her,
“Don’t make a boy your priority. Now is the time to work on yourself, and don’t
let one tell you what to do. You make
your decisions. Think about your choices, and do what’s best for you.”
It was understandable to Sondra
that her mother had been paranoid about boys. Her mother had been married to a
man who left her two years after her mother had worked to pay the bills while
he finished college, only a year after Sondra had been born. Sondra’s father
had taken care of obligations: a monthly phone call, child support, quick
visits on her birthday and on holidays, but he had moved on, remarried, and
started a new family. Her mother’s biggest request from Sondra was to never let
a man tell her what to do and to be her “own woman.” Now, after all this time,
her mother was on date, not the usual once or twice thing either. Her mother
had seen this man six times already, a first as far as Sondra could remember.
Sondra waved the bartender over. He
smiled and nodded and moved in her direction for her request.
“Can I get an iced tea while I
wait?”
“Sure.”
Sondra set her phone on the bar,
and surveyed the restaurant. She heard a laugh that sounded familiar and turned
toward it. She recognized him right away. It was Ben. They had worked together
at a movie theater in high school. He was with a young woman around her age.
She quickly turned away, put her head down and pretended to scroll through her
phone.
The hostess guided them through the
restaurant, and after they passed, Sondra watched as they took their table. She
looked Ben over as he smiled at the woman with him. He was a little broader
through the chest, and he wore his hair shorter now. Questions swarmed her
mind, questions about what she could have done differently, questions she’d asked
herself before, but watching him made them swell and become heavy, almost
desperate.
Ben glanced in her direction, and
Sondra snapped her head back towards her phone, another text from her mother.
U R right. My comfort &
enjoyment come 1st
I don’t need 2 wear heels
or turn heads 2 b
a valuable woman
Sondra smiled. Her mother had become
a feminist shortly after her father had left, and she’d been an uncomfortable
feminist at first. It’s hard to shake what society teaches you, and her mother
hadn’t made the choice to claim feminism from years of frustrations and
calculations only, she’d been abruptly pushed into feminism while fighting for
her rights during her divorce from Sondra’s father, but she was one nonetheless,
and was often questioning conventional expectations of women.
Sondra’s chest filled with a
mixture of pride and relief thinking of her mother finally enjoying herself. While
raising Sondra, her mother had worked in an accounting office, along with whatever
weekend jobs she could scare up, and managed to get an associates degree.
Sondra’s childhood had been a loving one, but she’d felt like she’d only had a
part-time mom.
Sondra looked back at Ben for a
moment. She watched him look over the menu and say something to the young woman
that made her laugh. Sondra thought about how she’d met him.
Her mom had been fired from her
weekend bar shift for throwing out a regular customer and telling the manager
that taking sexist shit from drunken men was not in her job description.
Sondra’s mother had sat at the computer looking through want ads and said,
“Sondra, you don’t need to give a second thought about people who judge you by
your clothes, but if you feel you must have certain things, I suggest you get a
job.” Sondra started at the movie theater the next week.
The bartender sat Sondra’s tea in
front of her. She took a quick glance in Ben’s direction. He was asking the
young woman a question, and then smiled and nodded as she answered him, and
Sondra thought about how she’d lost her chance with Ben.
She’d always wished she’d met Ben
first, but she’d met Collin first. He’d come into the theater with a couple of
his friends, and she’d accepted a date with him. He seemed really nice, and he
was kind of witty. He didn’t want a lot of her time. So, he was perfect. She’d
be able to focus on herself and not get caught up in anything. She could
honestly take him or leave him.
Ben was another story. He’d started
working at the theater about six weeks after she’d been working there. He was
friendly, curios about everyone, and hilarious.
Sondra and Ben always worked together
collecting tickets on Saturday nights and during the Sunday matinées. Ben drove
the manager, Mr. Ritter, absolutely nuts with his antics. Ben could do
impressions. He cut out the face of Batman from a “Dark Night” movie poster,
cut out the eyes and nose, wore it as a mask, and spoke in the deep, raspy,
whispering voice of Christian Bale while collecting tickets for the movie. When
“Alvin and The Chipmunks” was showing, he grabbed a small bag of popcorn,
stuffed his cheeks and spoke in a chipmunk voice as he took tickets from
children. The customers love it, but Mr. Ritter did not. He’d told Ben, “Spit
that out, and your paying for that popcorn”, but Ben wasn’t deterred when he
was written up for it. He had smiled at Sondra and in a dead-on impression of
Mr. Ritter had said, “If I loose my job, how will I ever find another with the
hefty wage of eight dollars an hour?”
Ben was always vying for Sondra’s attention.
She knew he liked her, and she was beginning to like him. She’d worked with him
for over a month, and he consistently asked her questions about her opinions
and what she wanted, and above all he was genuinely kind. He wouldn’t try to
tell her what to do. She’d been sure of it, and had wanted to end it with
Collin.
Sondra’s mother had started working
as a dispatcher for the police department on Saturday evenings and Sunday
mornings, and Collin had offered Sondra rides home from the theater. Sondra
remembers the Saturday she was going to call it off with Collin.
She and Ben had been collecting
tickets for the matinée, when Mr. Ritter called Ben over. Sondra watched Mr. Ritter
speak to Ben with a very serious expression. When Ben returned to help with the
tickets, Sondra asked, “What was that about?”
Ben spoke in his best Mr. Ritter
impression. He straightened his spine,
pinched the skin between his eyes and made small robotic movements while he’d said,
“It seems we have a situation of Ritter-strophic proportions. According to the
count, some of our guests are not
returning their 3D glasses for cleaning and recycling. I am to form a plan of
action to deter these deviants from this vile behavior as they leave the
theater.” Ben relaxed into his usual stance, smiled and said, “I also get the
job of running them through the washer.”
When “Wrath of The Titans” in 3D
was winding down, Mr. Ritter called Ben’s name, motioned at his watch and then
pointed towards theater #4. Ben clicked his heels together and saluted, and
then nodded for Sondra to join him. As customers began to leave, Ben began
calling, “Please, please, drop your 3D glasses in the box, or it may the end 3D
viewing as we know it. There will be no fireballs and spears that barely miss
you, no Cyclops inches from your face, thunder bolts will loose their thunder. It
could kill the movie industries version of mythology. Think of prosperity. For
the love of Zeus, please, hurry drop them in the box.”
The customers loved it. Some hurled
the glasses at the box and ran from the theater screaming and laughing. This
got Mr. Ritter’s attention, and he rounded into theater four, headed straight
for Ben, and asked, “What’s going on in here?”
Ben smoothed his employee vest and
said, “This people are really into recycling. I think 3D is their passion.”
Mr. Ritter’s anger excelled he
popped one hand on his hip and pointed the other at Ben. “I don’t know what you
did, but try and remember there are still movies rolling, and we need to keep
the noise to a minimum. Do you think you can handle that? And after the glasses
are finished, you have garbage duty.”
Sondra had helped Ben with garbage
that night, and as always, he’d made it fun. By the time all the theaters had
been swept, only Mr. Rotter. Ben, Sondra and Eric, a fellow employee, were left.
Ben timed them to see how fast they could get all the garbage out the back
door, 20 minutes. Then he spoke in a Scottish accent, and explained the rules
for garbage tossing. Each of them got to toss five bags of garbage at the
dumpster opening to see who’d get the most in. Sondra made three, Ben made
three, and Eric was the winner with four.
They had clocked out and told Mr.
Ritter they were leaving, so he could lock the doors behind them. Eric’s dad
was waiting on him and waved as they stepped through the front doors of the
theater. After Eric and his dad pulled away, Sondra asked, “Is your mom getting
you tonight?”
“No. She let me take the car.” He
nodded toward the Honda parked at the back of the lot. “I just thought I’d wait
with you.”
“Thanks.”
Sondra had looked over the parking
lot for Collin, but didn’t see him. How do you tell someone who just gave you a
ride that you’re breaking up with him? Well, it’s better than over the phone.
Sondra had laughed as Ben Mockingly
began to peel his theater vest off while making a face of disgust. “I got
something really sticky on it from the garbage,” he said. He took off his
bowtie and wrapped it around the vest. “You do realize were dressed like organ
grinder monkeys.”
“Yes, this will not be our proudest
job in life. We can only go up from here. I can’t believe how mad Mr. Ritter
was. Why do things get him so upset?”
“He’s a family man who works every
weekend, you know. He’s not all bad. It is strange that he doesn’t get the
connection with movie theater-good time.”
Ben stiffened and made a serious
face and did his Mr. Ritter imitation. “Ben, the guest need to conduct their
visit to theater with respect and seriousness. I don’t want to see smiles,
lightheartedness, and above all, laughter.
Sondra laughed again. “The 3D glass
plea you performed was brilliant, by the way.”
“Thank you. You know, if working
together is this much fun, maybe we should try hanging out. You know, if we’re
here as customers, then technically, Mr. Ritter has to approve of us having fun.”
Sondra laughed again. “True.” She
turned and saw Collin pull up to the curb in front of the theater. “That’s my
ride. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Sondra got in the car and said,
“Hi. Thanks for picking me up.”
Collin didn’t respond. She tried
again. “I know it’s late. I hope you didn’t have something else you wanted to
do.”
He still said nothing. He pulled
from the parking lot onto the main road and took the first right.
“Collin, where are we going?”
He said nothing and pulled the car
to the side of the road and put it in park. He turned to her and finally spoke.
“So, you really like that little fucker you work with, don’t you?”
“Ben? Yeah, he’s a funny guy. We
were just laughing about our boss. ”
“Yeah, I know you were having a
laugh. I was watching you, hanging on every word.”
“Collin, I work with the guy.”
Collin grabbed her by the jaw, hard,
causing her lips to be pushed forward, and he forced her head against the rest
of the car seat. He spoke inches from her face. “You best listen to me. I will
not be made a fool of. Do you understand?”
Sondra stared straight ahead,
afraid to make eye contact. Her jaws were beginning to ache. She took slow
shallow breaths.
Collin said, “I’ve seen you with
him before. I not stupid, and you shouldn’t be. If you don’t keep your distance
from that guy, I’ll distance him for you. Have you got that, you conniving
bitch?”
Collin finally let go, and started
the car.
Sondra’s jaws ached. She wanted to
rub them but was afraid. Her heart raced. She was afraid to speak. Collin drove
fast. She clutched the sides of her seat.
He pulled into the parking lot of
her mother’s condo, but not up to the condo, and without looking in her
direction said, “Get out.”
Sondra undid her seat belt and
opened the door. As she got out of the car, Collin said, “Remember what I
said.”
She shut the car door, and he
squealed away.
Sondra rubbed her throbbing jaws
and began to cry. What happened? Should I tell mom? She’d put herself
in the position her mother had warned her about.
Sondra went inside the condo and
showered. She looked at her face in the mirror. There was a small bruise under
her left ear from Collin’s thumb.
She went to her room and lay down
on her bed. She heard her mother come in. Her mother lightly tapped on the
door. Sondra answered, “Hey, Mom.”
“Just wanted to let you know I’m
home.”
Tell
her. Just tell her. “Okay.”
What
will she do? She’ll never trust me again.
Her mother cracked the door. “How
was work?”
“It was okay. How ‘bout you.”
“Fine. I’m pooped. I’m going to
bed.”
“Okay.” I’ll tell her in the morning.
Sondra woke to her phone ringing.
It was Collin. She answered it and told him,
“My mom is giving me a ride in.”
“Sondra, I’m sorry. I lost my
temper. I went to far. I know I did. Let me talk to you.”
“I don’t think so. We’re over.”
“You know you caused this right?
I’ll see you this afternoon. We’re talking this out.”
“No. We’re not. It’s over.”
Sondra hung up. She felt she’d
dealt with the situation.
She had told her mom, "I called it
off with Collin. I need a ride into work."
Sondra’s mother had asked, “Why’d you break up
with him?”
“He tried to boss me around.”
“Yeah. Some men do that, honey.”
That Sunday morning, Sondra had clocked
in and went to the lobby. Mr. Ritter was still irritated with Ben and had put
him behind the concession stand. Sondra was asked to run the sweeper before
they opened. She was sweeping in front of the big glass doors at the entry when
she saw Collin drive by slowly, glaring at her. He held up two fingers. He
pointed them at his eyes, and then on her. I’m
watching you.
Ben had finished his opening duties
at the concession stand: checked the soda machines, restocked the candy, and
started the popcorn machine. He had grabbed a hand full of garbage bags for the
front garbage cans and walked over to Sondra, as she watched Collin circled the
parking lot through the glass doors.
“Hey, “ Ben said. “Let’s catch a
movie when the shift is over.”
“Not to today. I can’t.”
“Well, how about tomorrow or
Tuesday? I haven’t seen “Wrath of The Titans” yet. It’s bound to be visual
candy. We should check it out.” Ben tied a garbage bag around his neck as a makeshift
cape, stood with his head held up high and his hands on his hips, and said,
“The gods are depending on us.”
Sondra saw Collin heading back
toward the theater, and she snapped at Ben, “It’s a bad idea. I have a
boyfriend, you know?”
“Okay. Sorry.” Ben turned and
stuffed a bag in the garbage bend by the door and walked away.
Sondra had collected tickets with a
nervous stomach. She kept waiting for Collin to barge through the doors,
causing a scene or worse.
She’d wished she’d told her mom.
Sondra was snatched from her memory
when the bartender said, “Your order will be ready in another five minutes. Do
you want more tea?”
Her throat was dry from her memory.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Sondra glance at Ben again. He and
the young woman were looking at something on his phone. She turned away and
went back to her memory. When the matinées had started, Sondra had gone to the
ladies room and called her mom.
“Hey, honey. I’m not supposed to be
on my phone while I’m here.”
“Mom, Collin threatened me last
night. I tried to break up with him when he called this morning, and he’s been
circling the parking lot. I think he’s waiting for me. I’m scared, Mom.”
“Do not step outside the theater
until I get there, and tell the manager what’s going on. Is Collin still
there.”
“I don’t know.”
“Have the manager walk with you to
check. If he’s there, call the police. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
Sondra felt both humiliated and relieved
after talking to her mom. She passed the concession stand. Ben was talking to a
couple of young women. She heard one say, “I want to see it, but those kind of
movies make me nervous.”
Ben nodded. “Yeah, there’s violence
and loads of action.” He put hid fist to his chest and said, “I will protect
you.”
The young woman said. “Okay. I’ll
text my address.”
He had a date for “Wrath of the
Titans,” and it wasn’t her.
Sondra remembered how low she felt
looking through the glass doors with Mr. Ritter, pointing out Collin, and
watching Mr. Ritter dial for the police.
Her mother had arrived moments
after the police. Sondra had felt nervous and small confronting Collin until
her spoke up. In front of Collin, Mr. Ritter, and the police her mother had
said to her, “There is never any reason for you to tolerate threats from
anyone. Nobody has the right to treat you that way. Tell the police what
happened.”
Collin had sneered and cut her
mother off. “If you daughter wouldn’t behave like a slut, she wouldn’t get treated
that way.”
Her mother had kept her eyes on
Sondra. “This is not your fault or your doing. Tell the police what happened,
so we can explain to Collin what he is does
not control and what he does not
have a right to do.”
Sondra had looked at her mother as
she spoke. She told everything and showed the bruise on her neck.
Her mother had told the police, “I
want him to understand he is not to be seen where she works, at her school, or around
our home. I want his parents called, and I want it explained to them.” She
looked at Collin. “We could put you in jail for assault this minute. Do you
understand?”
Collin had looked defeated. “You
should have seen her with that guy, anybody would have been upset.”
Her mother stood tall and met
Collin’s eyes as she’d said, “Yes. Life sometimes gives us circumstances that
make us upset, but it is never okay to bully, assault, or control the life of
another. I do not want to see you near my daughter. Is that clear?”
Collin had said, “I’m done with
her.”
Her mother had asked the cops,
“When do get the paper work showing the restraining order and that his parents
were notified?”
That night when they arrived home,
Sondra had began to apologize. “Mom, I’m so sorry. I had no idea he’d do that,
or that he was like that.”
Sondra’s mother had sat with her on
the couch and told her, “I want you to listen to me, and to tell every women
you know, that there are laws that protect you. That anytime a man threatens
you, bullies you, or hurts you, or does anything to you without your permission,
it is not acceptable and you do not have to tolerate it. This it is not your
fault because there is no excuse for that behavior. You are not obligated to
obey, tolerate, or calm anyone. If a man or woman physically hurts you or
threatens to hurt you, tell someone who can stop him, who can report it to the
police, and help you get any additional help you need. It’s the only way he’ll
get help with his problem and the
only way you’ll ever be free and safe.” Her mother hugged her. “You did nothing
wrong.”
Sondra and her mother were on alert
for a while after that. Sondra went to work at a different theater. She never
ran into Collin again.
Sondra looked toward Ben. He saw
her, and she waved. Ben hopped up and headed in her direction.
When he reached her asked, “Wow,
how long has been?”
“High school, I guess. What are you
up to?”
“I’m off to graduate school. My
cousin and I are checking out cheap apartments. What about you?”
“I’m off to graduate school too.
Public policy, UNC Chapel Hill.”
“Oh. My god. Sondra, I’m going to
UNC! I’m getting a master’s in social work," he raised his brows, "much to my mom’s disappointment.
Where are staying?”
“Not sure. Mom and I are driving
down to look tomorrow.”
“We have to get together. I mean,
if you want.”
“I’d love it.”
She and Ben gave each other their
number. Her food came, and as she paid, Ben said, “I got a job at Hops Burger
Bar. Not far from campus. I could get you on if you need a job. We used to make
a pretty good team.”
“Yeah, that’d be good.”
As they hugged goodbye, Sondra felt
a since of restoration wash over her. It’d be good hanging out with Ben again.
Sondra hauled her order out to her
car, and as she buckled her seatbelt, her phone beeped. It was another text
from her mom.
He is teaching me
to salsa!
Sondra texted back,
That's gr8
I think I have a
job in C H
